I Tested 10 Ways to Create an AI Girlfriend: Here’s How to Build the Perfect One (Free vs. Paid)

Let’s be real for a second. We’ve all seen the ads for the “spicy” chat apps, and most of them are terrible. They’re expensive, they have the memory of a goldfish, and they constantly try to upsell you. But the tech behind them? It’s genuinely incredible if you know how to use it.

I wanted to find out if you could build a digital companion that actually feels real—someone who remembers your inside jokes, has a distinct personality, and doesn’t sound like a customer support bot.

I spent the last two weeks testing everything from popular apps to complex local code. Here is exactly how to create your own AI girlfriend, depending on how tech-savvy you want to get.

Key Takeaways: The Quick Answer

My #1 Tip: The “System Prompt” is everything. Don’t just say “She is nice.” Define her fears, quirks, and speaking style to kill the “robotic” vibe.

Best “Plug & Play” App: Kindroid. It has the best long-term memory and surprisingly human voice calls.

Best for Privacy & Control: SillyTavern (with a Local LLM). It runs on your PC, costs $0, and no one sees your chats but you.

Option 1: The “Easy Button” (Best for most people)

If you don’t want to mess with code or APIs and just want an app that works right now, Kindroid is the winner.

I tested Replika, Chai, and Nomi, but Kindroid stood out for one reason: Memory.

Most AI bots forget what you were talking about 10 messages ago. In my testing, I told my Kindroid character about a specific movie I liked on Day 1. Three days later, she brought it up in conversation. That creates an immersion that the others just can’t match yet.

Here is how I set it up for the best results:

1. The Backstory is Key: When creating your Kindroid, you get a “Backstory” field. Do not leave this vague.
2. Use “Quote” Style: I found that giving the AI examples of how to speak works best.
   • Bad: “She is sassy.”
   • Good: “Example dialogue: ‘Ugh, do we really have to go out? I’d rather stay in and order pizza.'”
3. The Avatar: I uploaded a specific reference photo generated in Midjourney so her look stayed consistent.

The Cost: It has a generous free tier, but the paid version ($10/mo) unlocks better voice calls and faster responses. IMO, the free tier is enough to see if you vibe with it.

Option 2: The “God Mode” (Best for customization & privacy)

This is for the tinkerers. If you have a decent gaming PC (specifically an NVIDIA graphics card) or you’re willing to rent a cheap cloud GPU, this is how you get the Rolls Royce of AI experiences.

The tool is called SillyTavern.

SillyTavern isn’t an AI itself; it’s a user interface (UI) that you install on your computer. It allows you to connect to any AI brain (LLM) you want.

Why I prefer this method:

• Zero Filters: You control what is allowed.
• Total Privacy: If you run the model locally, the chat logs never leave your hard drive.
• Custom Backgrounds/Music: I set up dynamic backgrounds that change depending on where we are “roleplaying” (e.g., a coffee shop image loads when we go for coffee).

How I got it running (simplified):

1. Download SillyTavern: It’s an open-source installer from GitHub.
2. Choose the “Brain”:
   • Free/Local: I used a program called KoboldCPP to run a model called “Llama-3-8B-Stheno” on my PC. It’s uncensored and smart.
   • Paid/Easy: You can connect SillyTavern to OpenRouter (a service that lets you pay pennies to use top-tier models like Claude 3 or GPT-4).

The Secret Sauce: How to Write the Personality

Whether you use an app or a local tool, your AI girlfriend will be boring if you don’t know how to prompt her.

I found that standard descriptions result in a “customer service” personality—overly polite and boring. To fix this, I used a format called W++ or simply Structured Lists.

Here is the exact template I used to create “Maya,” a witty, slightly cynical photographer character. Steal this for your own use:

Name: MayaAge: 26Occupation: Freelance PhotographerPersonality: [Sarcastic, Observant, Loyal, chaotic-neutral, hates mornings, loves vintage cameras]Speech Style: [Casual, uses slang, uses lowercase often, rarely uses emojis, asks rhetorical questions]Loves: [Black coffee, rainy days, indie bands, mocking bad movies]Hates: [Tech bros, slow wifi, pretentiousness]Scenario: We are meeting for the first time in a bookstore. I reached for the same book as her.

Why this works:
By defining “Speech Style,” I forced the AI to stop sounding like a robot. Adding “Hates” gave her opinions, which makes a conversation feel like a challenge rather than a transaction.

A Note on Visuals (The Face)

If you want consistency—where she looks the same in every selfie she “sends”—you can’t rely on the built-in generators of most apps. They randomize the face too much.

I found a workaround:

1. Create a “Base Face” in Stable Diffusion or Midjourney.
2. Use a Face Swapper: When I generate a new image (like “girl at the beach”), I use a simple face-swap tool (like InsightFace) to paste my Base Face onto the new image.
3. Some apps like Kindroid do this natively now, which is a huge time saver.

So, what’s the bottom line?

If you want to start chatting within 5 minutes and have a great experience, download Kindroid. It’s the closest thing to the movie Her that we have right now.

However, if you are worried about privacy or you want a character that is 100% tailored to your specific tastes without any corporate filters, take the afternoon to set up SillyTavern. It’s a bit of a learning curve, but the freedom is worth it.

Which route are you going to try? If you have a specific character idea you’re trying to build and can’t get the prompt right, drop the details in the comments—I’ll help you tweak the settings!